Real Alaskan women are different.
I don’t mean the alaskan-lite (small “A”) pieces of fluff that cluster in Anchorage (“They have a NORDSTROM!”) or Juneau (political groupies in the landlocked state capitol), but the real Alaskan women that helped carve this state out of the wilderness.
Alaskan men admire Alaskan women, not just because there are so few of them, but because the real Alaskan women are as tough as the men. They aren’t afraid to do what has to be done to accomplish what is needed. They will help with logging, hunting, butchering, and have babies, too, on top of all that. And, they don’t complain. They accept hardship and tough going with humor and optimism.
Real Alaskan women don’t whine about going to Hawaii for the winter (although they love it when they go), they just bundle up and put up with another Alaskan winter. And they learn quickly how to depend on themselves for a lot of the necessities.
They don’t mind wearing sweatshirts, vests, and boots in public. They have several down vests, hats for all occasions, earmuffs, sweatshirts, and stacks of pairs of gloves in their closets, and can ponder for 15 minutes at a time before purchasing this pair of wool socks instead of that pair. They often find their favorite fashions in the Sportsman’s Warehouse. For them, a new pair of Sorel boots is an important addition to a wardrobe, and even chest waders can be a welcome gift.
They can make a garden produce in spite of rocks the size of babies’ heads, cottonwood seedlings sprouting in the flowerpots, weeks of damp, dismal weather, and moose who simply won’t respect a fence. They can store canned goods and groceries in places nobody ever thought of, and always manage to find enough stuff to make a meal, even if it’s only salmon-belly chowder. They have a huge walk-out freezer for most of the year (and a giant cooler for most of the rest of it), and they use it frequently. They keep a comprehensive cookbook for game meat and saltwater fish in their heads. They can make homebrew, and they can drink it.
They are hardy. They are adventuresome and courageous. They are good-natured, philosophical, and patient. Most of them know how to shoot. Almost all of them love fishing and have their favorite poles for each kind of fish and their favorite fishing spots. They also know what to do with all that game and fish after they bag their quarry. They’ve all learned through experience the best ways to get through extended winter power outages (which almost always includes no water, since water pumps run on electricity), snowdrifts over the windows, shoveling snow from roofs of houses, driving on wet ice, and coping with minor medical emergencies in the face of all the above. (As you can tell, winters in Alaska can be difficult and downright inconvenient, even dangerous. We all count it a blessing if we make it through any winter without a complication.)
Alaskan women like Alaskan men because they share these attributes, and are hard-working, gruff, manly, and can even be handsome under their beards and muscular under their woolies. Many Alaskan men have been known to carry their firewarms on their hips at all times. Others wear less obvious holsters, but many are armed, as are more than a few of the women.
Alaskans of both sexes are like forces of nature: Quirky, patriotic, fiercely independent, boisterous, audacious, adaptable, hard-working, and courageous. The only things they fear are men in suits (usually politicians, around here), women in suits (ball-busters), running out of drinking material, trips to the doctor, and polar bears.
Every time I look around, I can’t help thanking God for giving me the gift of homecoming. I wasn’t born here, but that doesn’t matter, because some people are born Alaskans, no matter where they happen to first see the light of day. It’s a state of being, not a statistical detail. Most Alaskan women wouldn’t be happy anywhere else, even if they left. (I know, because it happened to me. I could only stand it Outside for about 18 years.)
Alaskan women consider Alaska HOME. Yeah. Works for me.