Timely Halloween Advice October 31, 2008

*When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead. It isn’t.

*If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move immediately.

*Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

*Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

*If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

*When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

*As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

*If you’re searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it’s just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.

*If you find a town that looks deserted, it’s probably for a reason. Take the hint and leave NOW!!
Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing. Even then, don’t do it.

*If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of a female. Even though you may be faster than the monster, you can be sure that it WILL catch you.

*If your friends suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.

*Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Meskatonic University, Camp Crystal Lake, Haddonfield, Illinois, one gas station desert towns or any small town in Maine.

*If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.

*Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, or band saws. This is especially true if they are wearing a hockey mask or one made of human skin.

Thinking About A Purpose October 29, 2008

I’m one of those (more or less) omnivorous TV movie watchers.  If it’s worth watching once, my movie mantra goes, it’s worth watching every time it comes on, whether I have the disk or not.  Flicks like “Hellboy,” “The Grinch,”  ”Fantastic 4,”  “X-Men,” etc., are always guaranteed an audience of at least one when they come on.

I was thinking of  “I, Robot” as I meditated at prayer this morning.  In it, Sonny, the robot who is the apparent “suspect” in the death of the old inventor who built him, expresses something to the detective who pursues him and the scientist who tries to protect him.  “I believe my father made me for a purpose,” Sonny says.

Our Father, God the Creator, made all of us with a free will.  This was necessary, so that we could choose to LOVE God for Himself, and not because we had no choice in the matter.  Because of this free will, though, we can also choose evil.  We can choose to sin.  Or not.  We can choose to pray because we feel called to do that thing at that time.  This is part of our purpose as Children of God.  He gave us each a free will, and He does not violate that will.  If we use it to choose sin, He does not arbitrarily step in and cancel our choice (although it is possible that if someone else is praying for us, the intervention might come).

As I thought on this, it occurred to me that there are a lot of people praying and fasting for this election.   Among other things, I believe we have been created to be the people who pray now, for the outcome.  I began to see that perhaps my existence, my faith, my love and desire for prayer, could have all been seen by the Father to be necessary in this time and in this place, for this reason.  And, if that would be applicable to me, could it not be applicable to all of us who have undertaken to pray diligently for this election?

A couple of things helped bring me to this point.  The first came as I prayed several months ago:  “Lord!  Send us a LEADER!”  I had no way to know at the time what God had in mind.

We need to know that God is a “perfect gentleman.” He doesn’t go where He isn’t invited.  But, it wasn’t too long after that heartfelt prayer that Senator McCain selected Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.  She stepped up to the plate, suffered incredibly vile attacks from the Left, and survived to pull the Conservative electorate together behind the Republican ticket.   Voters find themselves enthusiastic about voting for her, and letting the presidential candidate ride HER coattails.

For people of faith, these matters are no strange and esoteric fields.  We all  say, “I believe My Father made me for a purpose,” and mean it.  We know we can never fathom the thoughts of God, but it’s a reassuring meditation.

The next thing that happened followed this prayer:  “Father, we need a miracle here!”  I believe that miracle appeared dressed as Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, the Ohio plumber who accidentally trapped Barack Hussein Obama into telling the TRUTH about his real plans for the United States of America, not to mention the incredibly revelatory blunders that seem to spurt from the mouth of Joe Biden, which always seem to underline not just his ineptness, but to show the truth about Barack Hussein Obama.

I plan to act as though I had received my marching orders directly from the Commander in Chief of all the Legions of prayer warriors across the country.  Who knows?  Stranger things have happened

P.S.  “Hellboy” was on again the other night, and, yes, I watched it, start to finish.