Archive for August, 2007

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Rupert Strikes Again

August 30, 2007

Well, well…lookee here. No WONDER the Democrats raised hell and put a chunk under it when Rupert Murdock bought the Wall Street Journal. Heh. This may be the opportunity of a lifetime for the Republicans, if they can stop running around like a Chinese firedrill and take the offense position. For way too long, the Democrats and their old hippies in the presstitute box have had their way with the media. Now, it looks like Rupert Murdock is the only person on the Right (or even in the real center) who has the stones to actually DO something about the Left’s (oops–PROGRESSIVES’) hammerlock on any information that is allowed to reach the public. Between Fox News, the internet, and the WSJ, maybe the Right is going to be able to get its message out at last.

There will be more on this as time goes by, as I do love to comment on this very topic. Watch this space.

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My Secret Life

August 29, 2007

Nobody knows me. I might as well be a spy.

In one of the supreme ironies of my life, I am better-known and my ideas are better-circulated among people I never see than they are within my family. The readers who never see me know me better than the people around me who live a door or two away.

My brothers may remember me as a snotty little sister, but the “new me” that is online is a total stranger to them, and probably much smarter than they ever gave me credit for being. They might not even recognize my name if they saw it online. Only my two younger sisters might–I repeat, might–be able to pick me out of a crowd. Not because I’m so unforgettable, but we all look alike. We haven’t laid eyes on each other in more years than I care to recall. Although our relationship is close, it has been carried on strictly through phone calls and Internet messenger.

I have a website you may have already discovered. On its pages, I discuss interesting facts about nutrition and health that I have been able to learn in the last ten years or so, most of which has been accumulated from the internet. Books on related subjects come in a strong second place. Also on that site, people will learn things about me that even my family doesn’t know.

When I chat with people in the grocery store, they have no idea what I do when I am at home–they have not even an inkling of my secret life, the life I live on the internet. My friends at church don’t know any more than anyone else how I spend my time.

When I tell someone at church, for instance, that, I have not just one, but two, websites, they usually express amazement. For whatever reason, they are astonished by the fact that I do what I do, almost as if I shouldn’t know how, perhaps by virtue of my gray hair. If they were to do an Internet search for my name on Dogpile, for instance, they would discover my secret life, and how much I seem to get around. They would find out that I am an old-timer on a couple of discussion boards, some dating back to early 2000. And they would learn that I have a secret store of information that is only known to those who go online and look for it. They would also discover this little blog page, in which I occasionally reveal more about myself than my family ever took the time to discover.

My children, however, are all Internet mavens. We are close, speak almost every day, and spend considerable time just visiting, chatting, swapping pictures, or confirming dates–whatever people do when they are in an online conversation, which is virtually the same thing they would if they were speaking face-to-face.

But, I am a stranger to my neighbors and acquaintances. I have a secret life. No one who lives around me or sees me in town has even the slightest inkling of what goes on in that little red house on the hill, even though people in Denmark and Sri Lanka have read what I write. I might as well be a spy.

How cool is that?

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Actors And Experience

August 27, 2007

A lot is being made by some campaign-watchers that Fred Thompson is “only an actor” (in spite of his two terms in the U.S. Senate), and that he “lacks the experience” necessary to be an effective Chief Executive.

Someone else in the race is even worse off than Thompson, and I’m not talking about Barack Obama, whose lack of experience puts him at an even greater disadvantage. I’m really talking about Mr. Hillary Clinton.

(A hat tip here to Tony Blankley, who couldn’t have put it better:)

“Sen. Hillary Milhous Clinton has been lumbering around the political landscape talking about herself as commander in chief. She joined the Senate Armed Services Committee as a freshman seven short years ago and has managed to pick up enough military jargon to sound like an Army major on his third tour of duty in the Pentagon’s administrative office.

For the life of me, I cannot imagine how this person got herself put on that committee. She was emphatic during her occupation of the White House that she HATED the military that her husband loathed. Why would the Senate get the idea that she was suddenly all for the good of the troops, and a good person to have on the Senate Armed Services Committee? The mind does not just boggle, it reels.

She has taken on the world-weary sound of a veteran European diplomat—although she has not carried out even one day’s duty as a diplomat… Prior to being elected to the Senate in 2000, her only recent professional employment had been as a lawyer in Little Rock, Ark., while her husband, coincidentally, was governor of that state.

Why are these two bad actors such bad actors? Mr. Hillary Clinton is not just pandering, she is deliberately undermining the work of the military, and she’s not even good at the ruse. Obviously, if “the struggle is everything,” as she (purportedly) stated in her thesis, pretending to be experienced is nothing. She should not even be in government in this country.

She represented clients who sometimes had an interest in getting to know her husband better. She has never managed anything larger than a Senate office, although she did exercise the traditional first lady’s prerogative of trying to get various members of her husband’s staff fired…

As I said, crooked is as crooked does. Hillary Clinton is so crooked that when/if she dies, they will have to screw her into the ground. And, don’t forget the Keystone Kops episode in Ft. Marcy Park, the White House Travel scandal, the purloined 900 FBI Files (How did she get them, have they been returned), how did those missing billing records with Hillary’s fingerprints all over them turn up in the White House residential quarters, and who DID hire Craig Livingstone?

She doesn’t have the government management experience of a Reagan, Carter or Bill Clinton. Nor does she have the international, military or naval experience of an Eisenhower, Hoover or a Franklin Roosevelt…[T]he cliche that she is the experienced candidate is just hooey.” —Tony Blankley

It’s not a cliche, Mr. Blankley. I’s a deliberate lie put out by her followers. Anything will do for them. Personally, I’m waiting for them to dress her in drag, a la Rudy Giuliani, and get as much press as they can out of “her sympathy for the minorities who suffer under a Christian President.” I’m sure that’s their big cannon. When all else fails, whip out the wig and false eyelashes.

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Guilty As Charged

August 26, 2007

Just came across. this. I thought you might enjoy a refresher course in grammar–the easy way. Enjoy.

Subject: Be a Good Writer

“Rules for Writerers:”

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Avoid “buzz-words”; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.

And finally…

35. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

I just want you to know that it was really hard to put this up without correcting all the examples…(I’m a stinker for that. All those typos, grammatical mistakes, and run-on sentences in my posts? I always stop before I get to number 35.)

Guilty as charged…

Part II:

REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

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Knick-Knacks And Scarcities

August 25, 2007

If you are one of those people, who, in my mother’s words, have a “taste for knick-knacks and scarcities,” this link might be for you. Everybody else, all I can say is, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

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No Big Rush

August 24, 2007

The neighborhood sounds a little different these days. All the kids are in school, so there’s nobody out in the streets, skateboarding, riding bikes, or just walking around.

The trees have taken on that muted color that signals the end of something. There are some trees in my back yard that have already started to turn yellow. We don’t get the vibrant reds and oranges here that folks in the South 48 do. Our deciduous trees almost all belong to the poplar family, and the usual autumn color is a rich, vibrant chrome yellow.

Last night, it was 47 degrees around midnight, and it’s pitch black out there, especially since the streetlight on the next corner burned out sometime in the last month.

The State Fair started yesterday, so another nail is in the coffin of the summer of ‘07. Part of me feels sad at its passing, and another part is equally interested in what is to come. The days are decidedly shorter, the nights, as I say, are dark enough to suit anyone, and there is a certain scent in the air–the resinous, pungent smell of the trees as they prepare to shed their leaves and hunker down for the winter.

Fall is here, beyond a doubt, and the last of the tourist trains will come through around Labor Day. The backpackers are looking for rides home, and soon, we’ll be alone up here again for another Alaskan winter. But not yet. I’m going to enjoy those green leaves for a while yet, even if they aren’t the same bright green, or even if the sun is much lower in the sky. No hurry. These things always come right on time.

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Eat Like A Caveman

August 22, 2007

An old post from 2002. Enjoy.

Biochemically, the preferred source of the body’s fuel since human life began has been its stored fat. Hunter-gatherers lived from one game kill, fishing expedition, or egg-gathering foray to the next. Between these feasts was a lot of famine. Their bodies were very good at utilizing stored fat, the body’s way of feeding itself when game wasn’t available. These bodies hummed a precision tune for hundreds of thousands of years (We’re here, aren’t we? If this low-carbohydrate diet had been so bad for humans, they probably wouldn’t have survived to have descendants like us). There really hasn’t been enough time for any evolutionary changes in our digestive, biochemical, and endocrine systems, so we are basically the same biochemically now as were our distant ancestors. This also means that we, too, are best at utilizing stored body fat as our primary fuel.

Our modern grain-based diets have caused our bodies to become addicted to the more readily available source of energy that it finds in sugary or starchy foods and the quick “energy surge” from a snack or meal high in carbohydrates.

Ever get a buzz from caffeine? Know why? Because caffeine does the same thing to your insulin that sugar does—it drives it up. If you are a caffeine junkie, and if you add sugar to that caffeine–if you drink Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Coke, or the new power drinks–know that you are giving yourself a huge shot of sugar and insulin every time. This stimulates the brain to release serotonin, a master-neurotransmitter responsible for making you feel alert and interested in life. But the effect only lasts for a few minutes. Then the insulin tells your body to ask for more sugar/caffeine/recreational or otc drugs so you can feel that little buzz from the serotonin one more time.

The human body turns all carbohydrate–complex as well as simple–into sugars immediately. In the stomach, starches of all kinds are chemically changed to sugar by digestive enzymes in preparation for utilizing the energy they contain.

The body is super-efficient in its metabolism, and will make do with almost anything put into it, whether it’s optimum or not, because it breaks everything down into component parts, some of which are less constructive and healthful than others, and others of which are denatured and damaged. Carbohydrates are the easiest fuel for the body, but not the most useful or efficient, and eventually, individuals will begin to notice a gain of weight, especially around the belly, an increase in blood pressure and triglycerides, and heart disease. The body, by going to the dietary sugars first, saves itself a step and bypasses the stored fat, which not only prevents that stored fat from being utilized, but adds to the accumulation of fat through the process described below.

How it REALLY works…

If the muscle cells and liver already carry a full load of metabolically changed sugars (glycogen), or if the cells, bathed in a constant flood of insulin, become unable—by a decrease in the number of receptors–to allow it to enter the cells with its load of glucose (a condition called “insulin resistance”), then the glycogen must be stored until it can be used. To do this, the liver turns it to fat by making triglycerides out of the glucose from the starches and other carbohydrates, which the insulin then transports to the fat cells to store for future use. That “future use” never comes if the body is continually fed a high-carbohydrate diet, for the fat from the carbohydrates continues to accumulate in the fat cells with very little of it getting used up. Then the patients wonder why they are getting fatter and fatter and sicker and sicker, and never make the connection.

Contrary to what is popularly taught, high triglycerides in the blood are not a sign of too much fat in the diet, they are an indication of too much carbohydrate. What the triglycerides in the bloodstream really indicate is a load of chemically-changed carbohydrates on their way to the fat cells.

The body doesn’t change fat to triglyceride. It can only change carbohydrates, because fats don’t stimulate insulin, which is only produced to handle starches and sugars. But insulin is the hormone that makes the storage of fat possible. Fats have no effect on insulin. The fat in your fat cells comes from sugar and flour, not bacon and butter.

An adjustment downward in carbohydrate foods consumed, and the triglycerides will fall into the normal range quite quickly. Remove most of the carbohydrates from the diet (especially the SAD, which is almost 65% breads and grains and eleven (!!) servings of grain every day, along with six servings of fruit!), and the body quickly returns to the stored fats for most of its fuel.

Simply removing fats from the diet will do no good for blood fat problems. That’s why people with high triglyceride readings never seem to get better, even though they never taste another pat of butter or slice of bacon. Most of them continue to get worse, simply because it wasn’t the fats that were at fault in the first place.

But they have replaced those fats with sugars in many forms, and then they take cholesterol-lowering drugs that force the body to make its own cholesterol by preventing the body from utilizing any from dietary sources. When this happens, the plaques continue to accumulate, and the doctor continues to raise the dosage, until the sufferer, reaching a point of toxicity, must resort to surgery to remove the plaques. Even surgery is not the whole answer, and is temporary, at best. Eventually, the accumulation is simply too much for the heart, and the sufferer has a massive coronary and is felled in an instant.

All cells must have the triglycerides turned to glycogen in order to utilize them. The process goes something like this: Carbohydrates consumed + insulin = triglycerides >> body fat. Then the reverse: Stored body fat + glucagon = glycogen >> energy. None of those triglycerides came from fat, but they did come from carbohydrates. So if you have high blood triglycerides, don’t blame that extra egg and slice of bacon you sneaked for breakfast yesterday. Blame that 1-pound cinnamon roll with the sugar glaze you had this morning, the orange juice you had with it, and the coffee sweetened with sugar that you drank to wash it all down. (Incidentally, a “breakfast” like this will put you to sleep by 2:00 pm. Guaranteed. Ever wonder why you can’t stay awake in the afternoon? Next time, check what you had for breakfast.)

Incidentally, your body can automanufacture in a day more cholesterol than you could eat, because cholesterol is the main ingredient of every cell in your body, as well as all your hormones, nerves, brain tissue, and neurotransmitters. It is the most basic of the nutrients, giving cells their shape and structure. In order to consume enough cholesterol to furnish all your body’s needs, you’d have to eat about 40 eggs in a day. The body must make up the difference between the cholesterol you consume and the amount of cholesterol it requires to maintain itself. Cholesterol is such an essential nutrient that if you don’t provide enough of it in your diet, your body’s factory will kick into overdrive. If you don’t want your body making more cholesterol than you can imagine, simply feed it enough of the right kinds of nutrients (natural fats, meats, eggs, vegetables) to provide the building blocks of new and renewed cells.

And, those plaques found in your arteries? They are composed of unsaturated fats, and more than half of those are polyunsaturated. Saturated fats, like those in butter, coconut oil, and lard, are liquid at below body temperature. How does a natural liquid turn to a solid when it is at its melting temperature? Vegetable oils, on the other hand, are so unstable that they must be hydrogenated, and do not liquefy at body temperature.

Adding natural saturated fat to the diet at the same time as removing the carbohydrates results in a satisfyingly rapid loss of stored body fats, especially since research shows that dietary fat appears to stimulate the process. Consumed saturated fats are metabolized by the tissues-—hair, eyes, hormones, lymphatic system, skin, etc. This is a desirable situation, since these tissues are usually depleted and brittle on a low-fat diet, or limp and flabby on a diet loaded with synthetic polyunsaturated oils. When you remove carbohydrates from your diet, your body will go to the fat cells once more and utilize the fuels stored there, just as it was created to do in the beginning.

Proof of the suitability of fats for fuel is demonstrated clinically by the restoration of health and energy and the minimizing of negative metabolic symptoms such as hypoglycemia, high blood pressure, heart problems, atherosclerosis, diabetes, etc., in people who remove simple carbohydrates from the diet and concentrate on meats and vegetables. Further proof of this suitability is the fact that if the same patients, once recovered from these metabolic afflictions return to their old “white” diet (bleached, refined flour, sugar, pasteurized milk, dry beans, hydrogenated fats, refined rice), the symptoms all return quickly. The above-mentioned disorders are symptoms of a dietary imbalance in favor of refined high-carbohydrate foods.

Recent studies have found that Americans are fatter than ever, but they never mention the fact that for the last 35 years the food industries have been all but forcing a high-carbohydrate, hydrogenated-fat, denatured diet on the public. Type II Diabetes? Up dramatically, more than four times the rate in the 60’s. Cardiovascular disease? Also up drastically, more of the same. Morbid obesity? Look around yourself. Have you ever seen so many grossly obese individuals? Obesity in children? Up alarmingly. (Sadly, the combination of a high-carbohydrate diet and a sedentary habit from television, video games, and computerized everything have created the fattest generation of children in America’s history).

” — Oct. 2, 2000 — Now, even more adults are overweight. The CDC finds the level of obesity among Americans 18 and over has grown again — up almost 6% between 1998 and 1999 — with all regions, every state, and every age group affected. [in ONE year!]

And so ends a decade that in public health terms could be referred to as The Bloating ’90s: Since 1991, the CDC says, adult obesity — defined as being about 30 pounds overweight — has risen an astounding 60% in the U.S. The average weight of American men is up to 190 pounds. For women, it’s risen to 151 pounds. And there’s no sign it will get better anytime soon.”

–By Jim Morelli, RPhWebMD Medical News

By making carbohydrates more than 65% of the daily diet, the food gurus are fattening Americans up as never before. We are consuming a thousand percent of the sugar now that we did a century ago, and eating it in literally everything that comes off the store shelves, to the tune of more than one hundred and fifty pounds of sugar a year for every man, woman, and child in the country! (This is for “normal” eaters, and does not include sugar addicts, who probably eat twice this much in a year. It also does not mention the consumption of starches and other carbohydrate foods, like beans, breads, and pasta, which are all metabolized by the body as sugars. The aggregate totals would stagger the imagination.)

The fats we are eating are hydrogenated or polyunsaturated vegetable fats, already proven to be toxic. Butter, for instance, was vilified early on as the saturated-fat creator of those plaques in the arteries, until researchers discovered more and thicker plaques in the arteries of eaters of margarine, shortening, and hydrogenated oils, all heavily loaded with trans- fats.

Animal proteins and fats, the body’s building blocks, are highly digestible, more so than any carbohydrate food. (Why do cows have to chew their food over and over? Because it’s indigestible, even for animals with metabolisms that are created specifically for that food. A human has a digestive system which much more closely resembles that of the wolf than those of the sheep or cow.)

When the human body is consuming meats and animal fats, is it taking in the fuels it needs to energize itself and to rebuild lost tissue. “You are what you eat” is really true. Our bodies are made to consume and digest meats and fats. When you need to repair a crumbling brick wall, you don’t use leaves or paper, you get bricks and mortar. If your body needs to be rebuilt, give it the materials it needs to make the repairs, not grass and sugar. To ask the carnivorous, muscle, bone, and fat body each of us lives in to exist on cellulose and sugars is to expect of it that which it was never designed to do.

If we were meant to be herbivores, we’d have had more than one stomach, an intestinal system much longer than we possess, or the ability to regurgitate and chew a cud. A rhetorical question or two: Why are cattle, sheep, and other herbivores grazing continually? I won’t tell you the answer, except to remind you that carnivores in the wild generally only feed every couple of days. Ever see a fat wolf? How about a fat beef cow? And, what do feedlots give to cattle, sheep, and pigs to fatten them up? You guessed it: Grains.)

A large part of a primitive diet is the protein in milk and eggs and the butterfat in cheeses, all foods from animal sources. Fat, guts and their contents, organs of ALL kinds, and even small glands are consumed in some cultures. Grains, when found in these diets, are whole and minimally processed, generally sprouted before cooking.

Asians are small in stature because of their diets, which are mostly rice and vegetables, with occasional fish included. As soon as the children of Japanese immigrants to America began to eat the American high-protein diet, they experienced growth spurts, becoming head and ahoulders taller than their parents. Indians from the Subcontinent are mostly strict vegetarians. They are slightly built. But even they consume butterfat, which contains the vitamin A that is essential for life and fertility. Eskimos, on the other hand, whose traditional diet consisted of meat, fish, fat, and little else, were seldom if ever obese and ages of 100 or more were common on the traditional diet. As soon as they began to consume the White man’s food (flour, sugar, rice, beans, hydrogenated fats) however, they began to get the White man’s diseases: hypoglycemia, diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure, alcoholism, and obesity. And their metabolic systems are the same as ours.

Anthropologists can tell the difference between hunter-gatherers and farmers when examining fossilized bones simply by the composition of the bones. Heavy, straight, dense bones and cavity-free teeth belong to the meat-eaters, while the frail, crooked and thin bones and decayed teeth are all identifiable quickly as belonging to agricultural tribes who subsisted mostly on grains.

Another plus in a low-carbohydrate diet is the fact that when the body is burning its fat, it is not “hungry,” and the temptation to snack on sugar-foods is not present. Just like in the “cave days,” the body, in the absence of carbohydrates, thinks it’s in a “famine” phase, and goes to the fat cells for fuel to carry it until the next hunting trip, fishing expedition, or egg-gathering outing.

____________________________________________________________________________

Anchell, Melvin, MD “The Steak Lovers’ Diet,” Second Opinion Publishing, PO Box 467939, Atlanta 31146-7939 ISBN 1-885236-11-5

Atkins, Robert C., MD “Dr. Atkins’ Diet Revolution” Bantam, New York, ISBN 0-553-27157-1

—– “Dr. Atkins’ NEW Diet Revolution,” Bantam, New York, ISBN 0-380-72729-3

Eades, Michael R., MD, and Eades, Mary Dan, MD, “Protein Power,” Bantam, New York, ISBN 0-553-57475-2

Schwarzbein, Diana, MD “The Schwarzbein Principle,” Health Concepts ISBN 1-554-680-3

Price, Weston A, “Nutrition and Physical Degeneration” Keats Publishing, Los Angeles, ISBN 0-87983-816-7

Fallon, Sally, with Enig, Mary G., Ph. D., “Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook That Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats” ISBN 0-9670897-3-5

All of these books, except “The Steak Lovers’ Diet,” which is out of print, are available from Amazon.com

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Fed Up, Fed, And Clean In The Frozen North

August 18, 2007

I got to thinking the other evening about some of the funny things that happened to Joe when he worked for one of the Valdez construction companies. They were a fairly big operation, for a small-town company, and had contracts in a couple of the more remote parts of the state. The last project was at a gravel pit located just outside the boundaries of Denali National Park (or whatever they call it. We used to just call it McKinley Park, but that’s neither here nor there), and screened and stockpiled gravel for use in a large project nearby.

Just when we were getting ready to leave Alaska to move “Outside,” the final week of Joe’s work required that he be at the rock-crushing plant that was set up for some work the company was doing. Since everything we owned was packed, all I had to do was get the dog and my hand-quilting project, and tag along for one last week. It was October, 1988, and fall comes with snow at those latitudes, so we knew we’d have a few chilly nights.

That was the understatement of the year. We were staying in a little, bitty, ratty travel trailer about this long and this wide. On top of this, there was no furnace in it, so it was like sleeping in a refrigerator. By the time we piled on enough blankets to keep us warm, we were paralyzed by the weight of three woolen Army blankets and two sleeping bags, and the condensation from our combined breathing made everything damp and clammy. The dog had to sleep up on the seat by the table to keep from freezing to death on the floor, and there was ice in his water bowl every morning. Oh, yeah: Two broken windows didn’t help much. And, talk about DARK…

Anyway, the first guy up in the morning lit all the burners on the propane stovetop to begin warming the trailer. It really didn’t take an awful lot, since the dinky trailer warmed up fairly quickly with all four burners roaring away with blue flames six inches high. Next was breakfast, which was generally bacon and eggs because they were easy to fix, and why not, since the burners were already going?

Joe made his own breakfast, since I was frozen to the bed. He stood at the stove, and the aromas wafted down on the warm air to the quivering nostrils of George the Dog, our large and friendly Sheltie, who was ever alert for even the tiniest morsel from a human hand, and who watched every last move to make sure he didn’t miss anything. He was standing so close that he was almost between Joe and the stove. Joe took an egg and cracked it on the rim of the stove, but it opened all the way, and the raw egg fell out and plopped right onto George’s head, then slid off and landed in his dish. SLURP!! George never even looked up, just inhaled that morsel before anybody could go after it, as if he was supposed to do so. Starting one’s day with an unexpected blessing like that is easy to take, if you’re a ravenous dog.

The camp had been set up for several weeks before I arrived, so the men had a routine. The nearest showers and running water were at a Good Sam trailer camp at Healy, home of a huge coal mine about 20 miles away. Joe’s weekly shower cost him about a dollar, and he had to buy a bath towel if he forgot to bring one of his own. When he paid his money, he got a plastic token to put into the plunger on the coin-op machine, which would turn on the water and give him about 10 minutes to shower, shampoo, and rinse before it turned off automatically. On one particularly memorable bath night, he and his companions arrived at the campground and bought their tokens, prepared for their Saturday night routine. Armed with his clean clothes, his token, toiletries, and towel, Joe headed for the showers.

He undressed and put his token into the slot to turn on the water, but when he pushed in the coin plunger, the token snapped in two. Resigned, naked, and disgusted, he put his clothes back on and trudged back upstairs to the cashier’s counter to turn in his broken pieces for a new token, then back to the showers. THIS time, he was verrrrry careful about where his token was placed. Peeling his clothes off once more, he stepped into the shower stall and pushed the plunger in, but whoever had used it before him forgot to turn off the cold water, and a jet of icy Alaskan water hit him squarely in the back.

I’ll leave the rest of this to your imagination, but you can see that sometimes it doesn’t pay to skimp on accommodations. And, sometimes, I guess it just doesn’t pay to pay for a shower.

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UPDATE ON FANG

August 18, 2007

Turns out the computer (called “Fang” because it’s big, ugly, and muscular) didn’t have the worst possible virus–boot sector. What it did have was a burned out fan on the video card that allowed it to overheat, which caused it to shut down unexpectedly, and to struggle to reboot. We are hoping that the problem has been correctly identified and rectified. I love little Miss Ellie Mae (my new laptop. She’s slim, she’s pretty, and looks good just sitting there…), but she will never take the place of good old Fang.

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Hail The Faithful Programmers

August 17, 2007


The recent revelation that a Y2K glitch has caused climate-pattern computers to render faulty data for the last few years (giving the anthropocentric-global-warming alarmists a reason to demand that the world shut down immediately, or else) reminds me of what we experienced around the time of the millennial rollover. Since the West is the only culture that uses a Julian calendar, sets their watches by it, and computes their interest by it (to name just a couple of uses), the West was the only culture that stood to lose anything if there was actually be some truth to the rumor that many computers simply wouldn’t be able to handle the rollover. Undeveloped countries would be, for the most part, unaffected, simply because their level of computerized technology was not as pervasive as it is in the West, and many of them used entirely different calendars.

It turned out that the speculation was true, in spite of what the naysayers would have you believe. It never was about hoarding as many cans of spam and rolls of toilet paper as you could. And, it never was about boarding up your windows against intruders and brigands roving the demoralized, benighted countryside looking for gold, food, and guns. It was really about computers being able to use numbers with three or more zeroes in calculating dates into the future.

It was about making sure that the computers we depended upon in business and finance, in hospitals and health care, in defense, and in telecommunications all managed to get past the rollover date without failing; and the very real possibility existed that failure of one computer in a system or network could cause the failure of others, in a cascading effect that had potential for serious consequences.

Technology has come a long way since 1999, so a lot of us simply don’t remember that not only was it a real threat to our computerized world, but there were numerous failures in older computers in many places that were directly attributable to the number 2000, mostly because they weren’t built to be able to read numbers with so many zeroes. The very real possiblity existed that as the internal clock/calendars of most machines rolled over the “1999″ they would simply go back to 1900, in which case, not the computers, but the records they contained, would be compromised. Part of the problem was that most computers of the day were engineered to beat built-in obsolescence, and did it beautifully, except for that one small problem. I’m sure this is an oversimplification of the problem. But if you ask the actual programmers who spent long days and nights poring over millions of lines of computer code if the problem was real, they’ll all tell you they wouldn’t have done the work if the threat hadn’t been real.

Seven years after the fact seems to be enough hindsight to discuss Y2K. People like me who remember what the runup was like can appreciate the work that went into averting a computer disaster. The fact is still this, and it is something that NEVER gets mentioned: Far from being a non-existent problem pumped up by scaremongers, Y2K rollover disasters were averted in mainframe computers everywhere. And the soldiers and cannon fodder that held off the enemy were none other than your lowly, friendly neighborhood computer programmers.

It’s a good thing that computer programmers were wise enough, clever enough, and dedicated enough to spend long, gruelling hours building work-arounds, re-programming, or completely rebuilding critical computers wherever the need arose.

And the next time somebody mentions their stash of Spam and toilet paper, you can tell them that the programmers believed Y2K was a threat, too.

(I have to tell you that it was a VERY good time to buy gold. The price was at its lowest since the FDR presidency, around $250/oz. I doubt that the two were related, but I’m sure glad I saw that…)